Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER
First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ
THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?
Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??
who spends the whole movie chasing a butterfly
THE VILLAIN IS SYLVESTER STALLONE
WHO GETS VILLAIN ADVICE FROM THREE OTHER SYLVESTER STALLONES
ELIJAH WOOD SHOWS UP
ONLY TO DIE IN THE NEXT SCENE
Then we find out that the president was actually the villain the whole time which makes ZERO SENSE but leads to this glorious George Clooney Sylvester Stallone impression
Then we get Antonio Benderez doing this?
AND THEIR UNCLE WHO IS STILL MACHETE
AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR NO REASON
HOW WAS THIS A MOVIE???
IF YOU’D WATCH THE PREVIOUS SPY KIDS YOU’D KNOW WHY STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG OR WHY ANTONIO BENDEREZ WAS DOING THAT I STILL HAVE NO EXPLANATION FOR MACHETE BUT HE WAS IN A PREVIOUS MOVIE TOO SO
Just a reminder to keep your fuzzy friend inside this halloween. A lot of people like to take this time of year to steal little babies to use for rituals and sacrifice. It’s horrific and painful to imagine that my little girl could get stolen for something so terrible. Keep all your animals inside no matter their color, age, or breed just to be safe.